ODD? Read online

  ODD?

  V O L U M E O N E

  Is it odd, or are you too normal?

  edited by

  Ann & Jeff VanderMeer

  Assistant Editor Adam Mills

  Cheeky Frawg Books

  Tallahassee, Florida

  Copyright © 2011 by Ann & Jeff VanderMeer.

  All stories are copyright to the individual writers as noted on the extended copyright page.

  Cheeky Frawg logo © 2011 by Jeremy Zerfoss.

  Ebook design by Neil Clarke.

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced by any means, mechanical, electronic, or otherwise, without first obtaining the permission of the copyright holder.

  Check out the full line of Cheeky Frawg Books at:

  www.cheekyfrawg.com

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Introduction by Ann & Jeff VanderMeer

  The Dead Babies by Amos Tutuola

  The War of the Vampires by Gustave Le Rouge (translation by Brian Evenson and David Beus)

  Weiroot by Jeffrey Ford

  The Bloat Toad by Leopoldo Lugones (translation by Larry Nolen)

  Apt 205 by Mark Samuels

  Modern Cities Exist Only to Be Destroyed by Michael Cisco

  Slow Cold Chick by Nalo Hopkinson

  A Hard Truth About Waste Management by Sumanth Prabhaker

  Stinky Girl by Hiromi Goto

  Logues by Eric Basso

  Lotophagi by Edward Morris

  The Aunts by Karin Tidbeck

  The Fork by Jeffrey Thomas

  The Volatilized Ceiling of Baron Munodi by Rikki Ducornet

  The Night of the Normal Distribution Curve by Leena Krohn (translation by Anna Volmari and J. Robert Tupasela)

  Unmaking by Amanda le Bas de Plumetôt

  The Head by Karl Hans Strobl (translation by Gio Clairval)

  A Child's Guide to the Hollow Hills by Caitlín R. Kiernan

  Sausage by Stacey Levine

  Myster Odd Theme Song by Danny Fontaine & Jeff VanderMeer

  Extended Copyright Page

  INTRODUCTION

  Ann & Jeff VanderMeer

  Welcome to ODD?, a new anthology series devoted to eclectic fiction, usually with a fantastical, horrific, magic realist, or surrealist approach. You might also call it strange or even weird. But as the subtitle of “Is it odd or are you too normal?” suggests, “odd” is a truly subjective evaluation. One person’s “what the heck?!” is another person’s “eh—saw that yesterday.” You’ll have to tell us just how “normal” you are by emailing us with your reaction to ODD?

  We have to admit, to us, with all of the anthologies we’ve edited and the different kinds of fiction we enjoy, our recognition of what’s odd and what’s not might be skewed…but even though you might call us jaded, we think we’ve put together something…unusual. Whether it’s Jeffrey Ford’s sustained ode to “Weiroot” or Karin Tidbeck’s disturbing explorations of the body in “The Aunts” (original to this anthology), Amos Tutuola’s rumination on “the deads” or the Hans Strobl’s phantasmagorical adventures of a disembodied head, you should find at least something you’d consider odd. (Just don’t be surprised if your friends think it’s normal.) This first volume is also accompanied by a professionally produced short film featuring a song about a certain Myster Odd (just type “ODD?” into YouTube).

  Each volume of the biannual ODD? will contain reprints (some of them not available otherwise except in expensive limited editions), previously unpublished stories, and new translations of classic and hard-to-find stories. We are committed to bringing you odd material from all over the world, from the past one hundred years, all of it bound together simply by dint of being idiosyncratic, unusual, out-of-the-ordinary. In part, too, ODD? allows us to bring you all kinds of wonderful fiction that hasn’t fit the focus of our other anthologies or magazines and that might not otherwise find a good home.

  Finally, many thanks to our contributors as well as Neil Clarke, Jeremy Zerfoss, Danny Fontaine, Adam Mills, and Gregory Bossert for their help in getting this project off the ground.

  Please visit cheekyfrawg.com for more information—and buy this ebook for your friends and other devoted readers of the odd. The contributors receive a very generous percentage of the proceeds.

  THE DEAD BABIES

  Amos Tutuola

  Amos Tutuola (1920 - 1997) was a largely self-taught Nigerian writer who became internationally praised for books based in part on Yoruba folktales, especially the phantasmagorical The Palm-Wine Drinkard (1952), from which “The Dead Babies” (our title) is taken.

  Now we started our journey from the Deads’ Town directly to my home town which I had left for many years. As we were going on this road, we met over a thousand deads who were just going to the Deads’ Town and if they saw us coming towards them on that road, they would branch into the bush and come back to the road at our back. Whenever they saw us, they would be making bad noise which showed us that they hated us and also were very annoyed to see alives. These deads were not talking to one another at all; even they were not talking plain words except murmuring. They always seemed as if they were mourning, their eyes would be very wild and brown and every one of them wore white clothes without a single stain.

  NONE OF THE DEADS TOO YOUNG TO ASSAULT. DEAD BABIES ON THE ROAD-MARCH TO THE DEADS’ TOWN

  We met about 400 dead babies on that road who were singing the song of mourning and marching to Deads’ Town at about two o’clock in the mid-night and marching towards the town like soldiers, but these dead babies did not branch into the bush as the adult-deads were doing if they met us, all of them held sticks in their hands. But when we saw that these dead babies did not care to branch for us then we stopped at the side for them to pass peacefully, but instead of that, they started to beat us with the sticks in their hands, then we began to run away inside the bush from these babies, although we did not care about any risk of that bush which might happen to us at night, because these dead babies were the most fearful creatures for us. But as we were running inside the bush very far off that road, they were still chasing us until we met a very huge man who had hung a very large bag on his shoulder and at the same time that he met us, he caught us (my wife and myself) inside the bag as a fisherman catches fishes inside his net. But when he caught us inside his bag, then all of the dead babies went back to the road and went away. As that man caught us with that bag, we met inside it many other creatures there which I could not describe here yet, so he was taking us far away into the bush. We tried with all our power to come out of the bag, but we could not do it, because it was woven with strong and thick ropes, its size was about 150 feet diameter and it could contain 45 persons. He put the bag on his shoulder as he was going and we did not know where he was taking us to by that night and again we did not know who was taking us away, whether he was a human-being or spirit or if he was going to kill us, we never knew yet at all.

  AFRAID OF TOUCHING TERRIBLE CREATURES IN BAG

  We were afraid of touching the other creatures that we met inside that bag, because every part of their bodies was as cold as ice and hairy and sharp as sand-paper. The air of their noses and mouths was hot as steam, none of them talked inside the bag. But as that man was carrying us away inside the bush with the bag on his shoulder the bag was always striking trees and ground but he did not care or stop, and he himself did not talk too. As he was carrying us far away into that bush, he met a creature of his kind, then he stopped and they began to throw the bag to and fro and they would take it up again and continue. After a while they stopped that, then he kept going as before, but he travelled as far as 30 miles from that road before daybreak.

  HARD TO SALUTE EACH OTHER, HARDER TO DESCRIBE EACH OTHER, AND HARDEST TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER AT DESTINA
TION

  When it was 8 o’clock in the morning, this huge creature stopped when he reached his destination, and turned upside-down the bag and the whole of us in the bag came down unexpectedly. It was in that place that we saw that there were nine terrible creatures in that bag before he caught us. Then we saw each other when we came down, but the nine terrible creatures were the hardest creatures for us to look at, then we saw the huge creature who was carrying us about in the bush throughout that night, he was just like a giant, very huge and tall, his head resembled a big pot of about ten feet in diameter, there were two large eyes on his forehead which were as big as bowls and his eyes would be turning whenever he was looking at somebody. He could see a pin at a distance of about three miles. His both feet were very long and thick as a pillar of a house, but no shoes could size his feet in this world. The description of the 9 terrible creatures in the bag is as follows. These 9 terrible creatures were short or 3 feet high, their skin as sharp as sand-paper with small short horns on their palms, very hot steam was rushing out of their noses and mouths whenever breathing, their bodies were as cold as ice and we did not understand their language, because it was sounding as a church bell. Their hands were thick about 5 inches and very short, with fingers, and also their feet were just like blocks. They had no shape at all like human-beings or like other bush-creatures that we met in the past, their heads were covered with a kind of hair like sponge. Though they were very smart while walking, of course their feet would be sounding on either hard or soft ground as if somebody was walking over or knocking a covered deep hole. But immediately we came down with them from the bag and when my wife and I myself saw these terrible creatures, we closed our eyes, because of their terrible and fearful appearance. After a while, the huge creature carried us to another place, opened a rise-up hill which was in that place, he told the whole of us to enter it, then he followed us and closed the hole back, we not knowing that he would not kill us but he had only captured us as slaves. When we entered the hole, there we met other more fearful creatures who I could not describe here. So when it was early in the morning, he took us out of the hole and showed us his farm to clear as the other more fearful creatures we met in the hole were doing. As I was working with these nine creatures in the farm, one day, one of them abused me with their language which I did not understand, then we started to fight, but when the rest saw that I wanted to kill him, then the whole of them started to fight me one by one. I killed the first one who faced me, then the second came and I killed him too, so I killed all of them one by one until the last one came who was their champion. When I started to fight him, he began to scrape my body with his sand-paper body and also with small thorns on his palms, so that every part of my body was bleeding. But I tried with all my power to knock him down and I was unable to as I could not grip him firmly with my hands, so he knocked me down and I fainted. Of course, I could not die because we had sold our death away. I did not know that my wife hid herself behind a big tree which was near the farm and that she was looking at us as we were fighting.

  As there remained only the champion of the nine terrible creatures, when he saw that I had fainted, he went to a kind of plant and cut 8 leaves on it. But my wife was looking at him by that time. Then he came back to his people. After that, he squeezed the leaves with both his palms until water came out, then he began to put the water into the eyes of his people one by one and the whole of them woke up at once and all of them went to our boss (the huge creature who brought us to that place) to report what had happened in the farm to him. But at the same time that they left the farm, my wife went to that plant and cut one leaf and did as the champion did to his people, and when she pressed the water in that leaf to my eyes, then I woke up at once. As she had managed to take our loads before she left that hole and followed us to the farm, we escaped from that farm and before the nine terrible creatures reached the hole of our boss, we had gone far away. That was how we were saved from the huge creature who caught us in his bag.

  As we had escaped, we were travelling both day and night so that the huge creature might not re-capture us again. When we travelled for two and half days, we reached the Deads’ road from which dead babies drove us, and when we reached there, we could not travel on it because of fearful dead babies, etc. which were still on it.

  TO TRAVEL IN THE BUSH WAS MORE DANGEROUS AND TO TRAVEL ON THE DEADS ROAD WAS THE MOST DANGEROUS

  Then we began to travel inside the bush, but closely to the road, so that we might not be lost in the bush again.

  When we had travelled for two weeks, I began to see the leaves which were suitable for the preparation of my juju, then we stopped and prepared four kinds which could save us whenever and wherever we met any dangerous creature.

  As I had prepared the juju, we did not fear anything which might happen to us inside the bush and we were travelling both day and night as we liked. So one night, we met a “hungry-creature” who was always crying “hungry” and as soon as that he saw us, he was coming to us directly. When he was about five feet away from us, we stopped and looked at him, because I had got some juju in hand already and because I remembered that we had sold our death before entering inside the white tree of the Faithful Mother, and so I did not care about approaching him. But as he was coming towards us, he was asking us repeatedly whether we had anything for him to eat and by that time we had only bananas which were not ripe. We gave him the bananas but he swallowed all at the same moment and began to ask for another thing to eat again and he did not stop crying “hungry-hungry-hungry” once, but when we could not bear his crying, then we loosened our loads. Perhaps we could get another edible thing there to give him, but we found only a split bean and before we gave it to him, he had taken it from us and swallowed it without hesitation and began to cry “hungry-hungry-hungry” as usual. We did not know that this “hungry-creature” could not satisfy with any food in this world, and he might eat the whole food in this world, but he would be still feeling hungry as if he had not tasted anything for a year. But as we were searching our loads, as perhaps we could get something for him again, the egg which my tapster gave me in the Deads’ Town fell down from my wife. The hungry-creature saw it, and he wanted to take it and swallow but my wife was very clever to pick it up before him.

  When he saw that he could not pick it up before my wife, then he began to fight her and he said that he wanted to swallow her. As this hungry-creature was fighting with my wife, he did not stop to cry “hungry” once. But when I thought within myself that he might harm us, then I performed one of my jujus and it changed my wife and our loads to a wooden-doll and I put it in my pocket. But when the hungry-creature saw my wife no more, he told me to bring out the wooden-doll for identification, so I brought it and he was asking me with doubtful mind, was this not my wife and loads? Then I replied that it was not my wife etc., but it only resembled her, so he gave the wooden-doll back to me, then I returned it to my pocket as before and I kept going. But he was following me as I was going on, and still crying “hungry.” Of course, I did not listen to him. When he had travelled with me to a distance of about a mile, he asked me again to bring out the wooden-doll for more identification and I brought it out to him, then he looked at it for more than ten minutes and asked me again was this not my wife? I replied that it was not my wife etc. but it only resembled her, then he gave it to me back and I was going as usual, but he was still following me and crying “hungry” as well. When he had travelled with me again to about two miles, he asked for it for the third time and I gave it to him, but as he held it he looked at it more than an hour and said that this was my wife and he swallowed it unexpectedly. As he swallowed the wooden-doll, it meant he swallowed my wife, gun, cutlass, egg and load and nothing remained with me again, except my juju.

  So immediately he had swallowed the wooden-doll, he was going far away from me and crying “hungry” as well. Now the wife was lost and how to get her back from the hungry-creature’s stomach? For the safety of an egg the wife wa
s in hungry-creature’s stomach. As I stood in that place and was looking at him as he was going far away, I saw him go so far from me that I could hardly see him, then I thought that my wife, who had been following me about in the bush to Deads’ Town had not shrunk from any suffering, so I said that, she should not leave me like this and I would not leave her for the hungry-creature to carry away. So I followed, and when I met him I told him to vomit out the wooden-doll which he had swallowed, but he refused to vomit it out totally.

  BOTH WIFE AND HUSBAND IN THE HUNGRY-CREATURE’S STOMACH

  I said that, rather than leave my wife with him, I would die with him, so I began to fight him, but as he was not a human-being, he swallowed me too and he was still crying “hungry” and going away with us. As I was in his stomach, I commanded my juju which changed the wooden-doll back to my wife, gun, egg, cutlass and loads at once. Then I loaded the gun and fired into his stomach, but he walked for a few yards before he fell down, and I loaded the gun for the second time and shot him again. After that I began to cut his stomach with the cutlass, then we got out from his stomach with our loads, etc. That was how we were freed from the hungry-creature, but I could not describe him fully here, because it was about 4 o’clock a.m. and that time was very dark too. So we left him safely and thanked God for that.

  THE WAR OF THE VAMPIRES

  Gustave Le Rouge

  Translated by David Beus and Brian Evenson

  Gustave Henri Joseph Le Rouge (1867 - 1938) was a French writer who helped usher in the modern science fiction era by rejecting the Jules Verne model of juvenile adventures and using real people in his stories—forming a bridge between Vernian and Wellsian approaches. The War of the Vampires (1909), from which this excerpt came, is a Martian Odyssey in which French engineer Robert Darvel is dispatched to the planet by the psychic powers of Hindu Brahmins.